I am a strong believer in the idea that we absorb things on a conscious and unconscious level.
Whether it be through the conversations that we are having, music we listen to, drama we partake in or even our Instagram feeds -- whatever we open our souls up to, can affect our mind, moods, energy level and overall mental wellbeing.
Since childhood, I struggled deeply with depression and when I began to take on therapy full-time -- I began to realize how the issues within my atmosphere had a stronghold over me and my ability to feel safe and unthreatened.
I allowed myself to be in toxic relationships and friendships. I admit that I engaged in work gossip and the spilling of dirty laundry because there was a point in life when I found entertainment in knowing other peoples business. My choice of music was not inspiring at all -- profanity, misogyny, violence, etc all flooded through my ear canals -- doing nothing to feed my spirit. doing nothing to inspire me or elevate me higher. Doing nothing to remind me of my worth and build my value system. Nothing at all.
Even my eating habits were somewhat outrageous. I had no regard for the things that I put in my belly. It was a like a "food for stomach, and stomach for food" mentality. My depression always caused me to lose weight and I thought if I over-indulged in fatty, high caloric foods then that would put my weight back on, and I would feel better about myself. Wrong. The real issue at hand was my struggle with body image. And no amount of unhealthy treats would heal me from that.
Depression is more than just a mental issue -- it is physical, environmental, emotional and even spiritual. I lived those tough years of my life blind to the toxicity that lingered around me. Not realizing that my progression and healing, also depended on who, and what, I allowed within my atmosphere. It took a long time for me to understand the value of safe spaces.
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