Almost 30 years later, my heart still pounds when I think about the night before I was taken into care at the age of 10. Left alone in the house and sleeping with a knife under my pillow. To this day I have nightmares about it.
Trauma in childhood creates physical changes in the body; it makes us more likely to develop serious illnesses and increases the odds of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder later in life.
Looked-after children and young people have much poorer mental health than others; at least half have a mental health condition. About a quarter have had a mental health crisis since leaving care. According to charities such as Barnardo’s, most do not get specialist support.
Such systemic failure is brought into sharp focus when we consider that, in Scotland, the vast majority are referred to the children’s reporter for care and protection reasons. Neglect and lack of parental care is the most common reason for a child in Scotland to be on the child protection register.
Adverse childhood experiences like neglect can have complex, long-term effects on psychological health and wellbeing. My own experience bears out the growing evidence.
Until I was taken into care, I was carer to a single parent struggling with alcohol addiction. I was neglected. My only sister had died and my parents separated shortly after. On several occasions I witnessed domestic abuse and suicide attempts.
A social worker once recorded that I was feeling upset but I said I had to “get myself together”. Reflecting on this now, I see that detaching from it was the last thing I needed. Instead, I needed help to make sense of the extremely distressing experiences that continued for a number of years.
My parents were unable to care for me. How does a child “cope” with that? Yet I was assured that I was “doing well for myself” because I was getting good grades at school.
We need better ways of assessing the emotional and mental health needs of children going into care.
My social worker did her job; she made me safe, but she missed a big red flag – a chance to help me when it mattered most. Professionals in the sector must be supported to recognise responses to trauma and build authentic relationships with children and young people who might struggle to trust or open up to adults.
Research shows that damage to mental health can be done by the time a young person reaches 14.
The disruption of multiple moves can make things worse; hidden trauma and mental health problems go unrecognised and untreated.
Foster care started out positively for me; although it was hard to be removed from what I knew as home, I was lucky to stay with a loving family. At 14, I was moved to another foster home with a family who gave me a room and fed me, but I didn’t feel there was any further element of care.
To numb everything, I started drinking. Suddenly I went from being a good girl to being disruptive. But I continued to get good grades, so I was again left to cope.
Long before going into care I believed I should be able to cope entirely by myself. When I left care that was reinforced; I learned not to ask for help.
Mental health support is critical during major life changes like leaving care; transitions can be make-or-break when there’s no family support network.
At 16, I went to university with no advice, plan, aftercare or communication. I scraped through after nearly dropping out several times and graduated with an honours degree. For years my personal life was disastrous. Poor self-esteem and self-destructive behaviour devastated close relationships.
I completed a post-graduate diploma and developed a career in writing. Somehow, I always functioned in my professional life. But my health got worse: anxiety attacks, periods of depression, chronic pain and fatigue. I kept it all hidden with secrecy, denial and a toxic sense of shame. No matter what I achieved I never felt I deserved care, love or respect and as a result continued to put myself in risky situations.
All the poor outcomes for children in care point back to the fundamental need to nurture positive mental health and resilience.
It’s never too late to recover – when I reached my mid-30s I finally took the step to get support. Shortly after my daughter was born last year, I started having panic attacks. I realised I had a choice – fall apart or get help. Being a mum is a dream come true. It was also the start of my recovery. The stress of that first few months of parenting triggered unresolved trauma I had buried for more than two decades.
I have learned that, for me, recovery is hard, long-term work. It’s also massively empowering. I started writing, had counselling and connected with care-experienced people through the charity Who Cares? Scotland.
Every child in care needs access to a range of specialist support. Meeting emotional and mental health needs must be a priority as soon as children enter the care system – and for as long as support is needed.
After leaving care we still have to cope with the family situations and relationships that put us there in the first place. Failing to address mental health problems will perpetuate the cycle of generations of broken families and children going into care.
Young people can overcome adversity but they need help and positive mental health to succeed in life.
Jolene Campbell is a freelance journalist and care-experienced adult
Join the Social Care Network for comment, analysis and job opportunities, direct to your inbox. Follow us on Twitter (@GdnSocialCare) and like us on Facebook. If you have an idea for a blog, read our guidelines and email your pitch to us at socialcare@theguardian.com.
If you’re looking for a social care job or need to recruit staff, visit Guardian Jobs.